Global Freezing

It’s the beginning of November and already the penetrable cold and frost of England has reduced even the strongest immune systems to sorry, sniveling messes. Apparently, 80% of the country is suffering from a cold and the moment, which is plainly discernable by the vulgar and incessant sound of people hocking back mucus each morning like some breed of farm animal. Every time I hear that appauling sound I have to question whether people really do think it is acceptable, or whether there is just an element of using tissues that they have not yet mastered.

But back to my point. So what happened to global warming? Nobody seems to be quite as concerned about the plight of the polar ice caps when they are shivering under eight layers of clothing, in order to put off using the heating that little while longer. In fact, given the current climate, I bet a number of people are thinking that the less bloody ice there is in this world the better.

I think the fact that we have just experienced snow in October indicates that perhaps the ‘threat’ of global warming was indeed a fraud: a panic to keep us safely occupied during the summer months, which has now been replaced with ‘the recession’ to keep us on our toes throughout winter.

I wonder what delightful moral panic they will conjure up for January. It will have to be Christmas-related. I’m hedging my bets on child obesity.