Honk if you...

After years of dropping my phone, spilling my coffee and (on more than one occasion) actually falling over, I have yet to understand what motivates van drivers to greet their female counterparts with a blaring honk first thing in the morning.

Exactly what message are they trying to get across? Is the aim to embarass? Or to serve as a gentle reminder, just incase a member of the female species happens to have not noticed her ample busom.

Some would tell us that we should be flattered. Which would be easy were it not for the balding, tatooed, Mackenzie-wearing specimens sitting behind the wheel.

Perhaps we should look back for a more Darwinian explanation. Maybe the honking of a horn is an involuntary projection of all the pent-up energy residing in their nether-regions? Or perpaps, on seeing an attractive female, they simply revert back to an ape-like form and, unable to speak, flail their limbs around with their tongues hanging out as a sign of happy appreciation.

But maybe I am being unfair. After all, I have paid no consideration to the time constraint of the situation. Perhaps, given the chance to stop and talk, the van drivers of today would actually be all charm and politeness. Maybe the 'honk' is their very succinct way of saying "My, how radiant you look this morning; all poise and grace. I simply must take you out to dinner."

Or maybe not.